I was checkin' for change in all the pay phones
When who should I meet -
Mr. Top Hat Bones.

Strange lookin' dude - and that's a fact:
Not very tall with a black top hat
Had little shoes tied on his feet
He was rockin' along to a funky beat.

He said,"My name ain't Johnson,
my name ain't Jones,
All my friends call me Top Hat Bones."

He said, " I'm goin' to a party -
do you wanna' go?..."
Well, he had me curious -
I couldn't say no.
"...It'll be a fine affair -
'le grande soiree' -

But first you gotta' learn how to rock this way..."

He said, " Get up, get down,
get up, get down, get up, get down,
and do the Top Hat Bones,
do the Top Hat Bones!"

I was mesmerized - said hypnotized
He was disconnectin' right before my eyes
But he went too high, missed the beat
Fell down, spread out all over the street.

I said "Aww!"   You say "Awww!"
Everybody say "Awww!"

This man's a mess, it's plain to see
But you can help if you'll rap with me
Say "Get up, Mr. Top Hat Bones!"

He said he'll get up with a beat.

Hip, hop, poly-rock, when your feet start dancin',
your heart won't stop

Hip, hop, poly rock...BREAK DOWN!
Break down, get up, climb to the top
Break down, get up, and climb to the top.

He said, "Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue
Thanks very much - my hat's off to you.
But I gotta' go ( I might have bruised a bone)
Would you be so kind as to walk me home?"